My friend Anna bravely posted this beautiful and poignant account on face book. With her permission, I am sharing it today. Together ~ story by story ~ we are healing our lives...
"I lost my virginity to date rape at 15. A few years later memories began resurfacing of being sexually assaulted in daycare by a woman who was in charge of caring for me. I’ve fought off more than one should have to of unwanted encounters and I know way to many other women and men who have experienced similar misfortunes. It’s heartbreaking and upsetting and the repercussions from these experiences run so much deeper than one can imagine.
But moving on to the healing process. A few months back I had a major breakthrough. I thought I had moved on from all the trauma but what I had done was just bury it, avoid it. It was still there though eating away at me from inside. I didn’t even realize how strong of a hold it had on me until I released it, and this release was completely unplanned. I didn’t even realize I needed it until my lovely friend, Rebecca Beers Street wrote a book on the topic called “You Can Help: A Guide for Family and Friends of Survivors of Sexual Abuse and Assault.”
I didn’t accept the help easily though. I had no desire of revisiting that pain that I thought I had come to terms with. The unsettling feelings began stirring in me when I was invited to her book release launch. I became “sick” and was unable to attend. The emotional pain that was resurfacing began taking on physical manifestations. She gifted me with a copy of her book and I never found the time to read it.
Finally after an evening out with her when once again I had to admit I hadn’t been able to “find the time” to read her book I decided I couldn’t face her again until I did. That night I went home and began reading, and sobbing, and reading, and sobbing, until I felt the darkness that I had been unintentionally holding on to begin to loosen it’s grasp from my body. I felt as if I was purging from this deep pain. I had read many self help books in the past trying to come to terms with things. I had seen many therapists. I think so often we feel alone with our pain but through reading the stories of others that she shares in this book I began to not feel alone with my pain and the healing began. Hopefully all of our me too’s will help any others who are still suffering from this begin moving forward and healing. My love to you all on this journey."